I’ve ridden pushies in the city for thirty years. I’ve had a pretty good run of it, danger-wise. I’ve had a handful of crashes and bust-ups and a load more terrifying near-misses, but considering some of the horror stories you hear every day about cyclists getting killed or maimed, I feel like my lot has been a good one.
I learnt early. My first job was when I was 13 delivering prescriptions for a pharmacy. This meant leaving my house after school and huffing up the Pacific Highway to the Chemist to pick up the meds, then ride them back home to deliver to the old and infirm in my neighbourhood. Kind of terrifying looking back, but at the time I pretty focussed on the cash.
Obviously that never went away: after I finished Uni in the 90s I moved to Sydney and got a full-time job as a bike courier – or ‘messenger’, as the kids call them these days. It was hectic stuff, and I soon sharpened my skill as a city-rider, honing my chops to be fearless, reckless, efficient, fast.
Moving to Melbourne I couriered for three more years before puffing out. My exit strategy was training-up for the internet boom that was happening around me, and I swapped all-day on a bike for commuting to the various places I’ve worked in Melbourne over the last twelve years.
Seeing the rise in popularity of cycling and commuting in Melbourne gives me mixed feelings. It’s great to see a growing cycle presence and I love that people are getting to enjoy the health and freedom and fun aspects of getting around town by bike. But I’ve also seen a lot more aggro in recent years between cyclists and motorists. There’s plenty of animosity there, and no clear meeting of the minds about to happen.
Furthermore, Melbourne hasn’t been able to keep up with the demands on infrastructure: Cycleways are crammed full of people, and I seen cyclists getting stroppy with each other over how to ride. A guy a few weeks ago wanted to have a punch-up because of some perceived slight. Me laughing and not taking him seriously might have helped escalate that situation. But still.
Being an urban cyclist necessarily puts you on the shit-list, so if you’re there, you might as well be fore-warned. You could probably file all these under the maxim “Be visible, act meekly”.
The three big assumptions I make anytime I throw the leg over are:
1. The other road-users don’t want me here.
2. People are slow-witted and/or stupid.
3. Cars are much bigger and harder than me.
• Assume peoples’ motivations are at best malicious, and at worst due to them being idiots. Seeing as much as I see as a cyclist, I can tell you EVERYBODY is engaging with their phone at some point during their drive, and that means time away from what’s happening on the road – ie, YOU. More than that, many people are carrying on very involved sms or chatty conversations while they’re driving. It’s a fact. Sooner or later there will be serious laws in place to combat this, but for now you need to be on your guard, since we are amongst the population of people who will garner the statistics for making the required legislative changes.
• When you’re in a bicycle lane, assume you’re going to get doored. Just go on and assume it’s going to happen. Ride the very outside of the lane.
• Acknowledge kindnesses from drivers, even when they’re legally required and/or they’re pissed at you while doing it. Behave like you’re grateful for being let in, for not being turned in on at an intersection, for someone not running you down when you have the right of way. It’s a goodwill thing, but also, useful to acknowledge your smallness.
• Apart from the point above, don’t make eye-contact with a motorist if you can avoid it. It’s tempting to connect the person to the machine, but more often that not it’s their opportunity to give you some grief right to your face, from the safety of their car.
• Enjoy your right to be on the road but don’t expect others to respect that right. You’re legally in the right, but some folks Do. Not. Care.
• Hold your line and own your space when you need to, but get out of the way when you can. The situation will come up when it’s safer to get in the middle of the lane for a bit, and some people aren’t going to like you ‘owning’ your bit of road, so do it when you have to and hurry along, but otherwise get out of the way a let them have it.
• Don’t bite. Even when it’s someone who wants you to, don’t. I was in Moe once cycle-touring my way through town when a panel van cruised by. The guy in the passenger seat was leaning out the window and yelled at me “You fucken pooftah”, and then just hung there as the car drove slowly on, looking at me, waiting for me to say something. I could feel the guy itching for me to stick a finger up, say ‘fuck off’, anything that would give him and his bored dickhead mates an excuse to pull over and beat the shit out of me. And I gave him nothing’. Just kept pedalling along, beatific smile upon my face. That, strangely, was a good day.
• Be happy for what you’re doing. When you pass all those sad souls stuck in traffic and arrive safely at where you’re headed, enjoy it.
